Dom Perrignon
by Kyoryto
Summary: Crawford and Schuldich escape on a vacation to get away from work for a while, leaving Nagi and Farfarello to cover for them. o_O I know what it sounds like, but there is no shounen-ai/yaoi intended.


Schuldich stretched out on the comfortable, snow-white couch and shut his eyes.   
  
"Schuldich, Have you seen my laptop?"   
  
The red-head opened an annoyed jade eye to watch his co-worker anxiously cross the room, looking from side to side.   
  
"I thought you weren't going to bring it," Schuldich's tone matched his stare.   
  
"Yeah. But I also thought I'd be going to work today," Crawford shot back.   
  
"Hey. You came with me on your own free will," the German replied casually.   
  
"How was it my own free will?" the American said with disbelief.   
  
"Need I remind you?"   
  
**********  
  
"Come on, Crawford! You have to go!" the German half shouted, half whined.   
  
"No. It's completely inefficient," the man with the glasses said firmly.   
  
"But you know you could use the break," Schuldich said, his tone now more steady.   
  
"No."   
  
"Please?"   
  
"No!"   
  
"You're coming with me or I'll...I'll...tell Mr. Takatori who killed his daughter!"   
  
"But you're responsible for getting his daughter killed."   
  
"Not after what I tell him," the telepath said, his usual mischievous smirk crossing his face. "And golf clubs don't taste good."   
  
Crawford grimaced.   
  
"All right," he gave in. "But what about Mister Takatori?"   
  
"He's not going to know. I got Nagi and Farfarello to cover for us."   
  
Crawford sighed.   
  
"I'll go pack."   
  
"No laptop or paperwork! Remember, You're one vacation!" Schuldich called after him.   
  
**********  
  
"I never agreed to not taking my work," Crawford said calmly.   
  
"But that's the point of taking a vacation, to get away from work," Schuldich said as he got up and headed for the kitchen. They had only been at the hotel suite for half an hour and he was eager to see what was in the refrigerator.   
  
**********  
  
"Nagi! Farfarello!" Takatori called.   
  
Within minutes, a young boy and a man with pale skin were in front of him.   
  
"Where's Crawford? And Schuldich for that matter!"   
  
"They're out for ice cream," Nagi replied.   
  
Farfarello nodded in agreement.   
  
"Why are they out for ice cream?" Takatori asked, clearly irritated.   
  
"Because it's so hot outside," Nagi said a little too quickly.   
  
"It's in the middle of January," Takatori pointed out, casting a suspicious eye.   
  
"It's too hot in here with the heaters on," Farfarello said coolly.   
  
"Oh," Takatori sounded slightly puzzled. "I'll make sure to turn down the heaters. You're dismissed."   
  
The two Schwarz members bowed and left.   
  
"They can't be out for ice cream forever," Farfarello pointed out once he and Nagi were in the hall.   
  
"I know, but we'll think of something," Nagi said as he pushed open the door to Crawford's office. "In the meantime, I might as well try to get Crawford's paperwork done. Perhaps if his paperwork shows up completed, Takatori will be less suspicious." Nagi sat down and started typing with his mind, resting his hands behind his head.   
  
**********  
  
"Crawford, You like Dom Perrignon, n'est-ce pas?" Schuldich called from the kitchen, his smirk in his voice.   
  
"Yeah, Why?" Crawford asked, coming into the kitchen.   
  
"The rich guy we stole this suite from likes the same champagne you do," Schuldich said with a smirk.   
  
"Who cares about champagne? Where's my laptop?" Crawford was as irritated as ever. He looked around the kitchen before stopping dead. He glared at the red head.   
  
"Where's my laptop?" Crawford growled, irritation dripping from his voice.   
  
"What makes you think I did anything?" Schuldich asked innocently.   
  
"You were the one who didn't want me to bring it, and your room is the only place I didn't--" he fell silent and jade eyes met honey brown ones. Schuldich slammed the refrigerator door shut, and it was a race for his room. Schuldich beat him hands down, and Crawford entered to find the German standing the laptop on its side and tilting it back and forth in front of his open window.   
  
**********  
  
Farfarello shivered and entered Crawford's office to find Nagi still at the American's computer. The glow from the screen was just enough to illuminate his tired features and to reveal that his typing was much slower, and he was using his fingers.   
  
"Nagi," Farfarello called.   
  
"Hmm?" it came out more like a groan.   
  
The pale man crossed the room and stood next to the boy.   
  
"You've been at it for hours. Anything I can do?"   
  
Nagi turned his head slowly to face the Irishman.   
  
"Get me some coffee?"   
  
**********  
  
Schuldich had expected Crawford to get upset when he let the laptop fall out of his window. But, he hadn't expected to have to stop Crawford from practically jumping out the window after it.   
  
"Crawford! It was just a laptop! Control yourself!" Schuldich yelled, as he dragged his co-worker away from the window by his arm. Crawford spun away to face the German.   
  
Anyone with even the slightest degree of telepathy could tell that Crawford wanted to strangle Schuldich with every fiber of his being. But Schuldich could hear every curse, rant, and damnation on the American's mind, despite how controlled he was being about it.   
  
"The next time you drop my laptop out the window, you'll be thrown out after it," Crawford said slowly, straining to keep his voice steady and quiet.   
  
"Maybe the next time we escape for a vacation, you'll know not to bring it," Schuldich also spoke slowly. His expression and voice suddenly turned more casual.   
  
"I'm going to check out the Jacuzzi in the bathroom. Now that your laptop is gone, I suggest you do the same," he said as he left the room.   
  
Crawford went into the living room and dropped down on the couch. This was where he would light a cigarette. But Crawford didn't smoke, so he just sat there, leaving his thoughts and conscious to plague him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so cruel to Schuldich. Though he hadn't said anything cruel, he had been thinking a few choice words, and he was sure Schuldich had caught each and every one of them. Maybe he should apologize. Schuldich was only trying to help. Then again, Farfarello had only been trying to help the time he burned all of Crawford's socks, claiming that they had been infested by fairies. Since when did he let himself feel so guilty over something so stupid?   
  
Unable to put up with his nagging thoughts any longer, he dragged himself up off the couch and to the bathroom.   
  
"Schuldich?" Crawford called, knocking lightly on the bathroom door.   
  
"Come in," a voice answered. Upon doing so, Crawford found Schuldich in his swimming trunks, sitting in the Jacuzzi. His loose T-shirt and jeans were folded semi-neatly on the counter by the sink.   
  
"I came to apologize," Crawford said stiffly.   
  
"So, Are you coming in?" the German asked.   
  
"No. That also is inefficient. Besides, I have to think about getting a new laptop."   
  
Jade eyes turned deadly.   
  
"You're coming in, or I'll drag you in, clothes and all. And I won't pay for the dry cleaning bill."   
  
Rather than having his cream suit and expensive shoes ruined, Crawford stripped down to his boxers (having not brought swimming trunks), folded his clothes neatly, and placed them on the counter next to Schuldich's. He then climbed into the Jacuzzi and sat across from the red head.   
  
Schuldich leaned his head back and sighed contentedly. Crawford also leaned his head back, enjoying the feeling of the jets against his back.   
  
**********  
  
"Nagi san?" a high-pitched, feminine voice called into the darkened room.   
  
No answer. The only evidence that someone was, or had been in the room was the computer screen, glowing a pale blue. That, and the soft breathing her ears picked up shortly after she entered the room. She walked quietly into the room, and peered over the computer chair. To her delight, she found Nagi there, asleep. His head was in his arms, folded on the desk, and his shoulders moved up and down in time to his breathing.   
  
A slender, slightly hesitant finger gently stroked the length of his cheek.   
  
He stirred and opened his eyes sleepily.   
  
"Tot?!" he sat straight up, instantly wide awake.   
  
"Nagi san!" she cried happily. Then she took on a dainty pout.   
  
"Why are you in here all the time? What are you doing?" She leaned forward to peer at the computer. Nagi tried to block the screen, but was too late.   
  
"You're doing Crawford's paperwork?! He and Schuldich are skipping work, aren't they?! I'm telling papa!"   
  
"Tot! Wait!" Nagi tried to call back the girl as she ran for the door. She collided with Farfarello in the doorway.   
  
Without hesitation, Farfarello grabbed the ditz and carried her, kicking and squirming, out of sight. He returned half an hour later with a satisfied smile on his face.   
  
"What did you do to her?!" Nagi cried.   
  
"I just made sure she wouldn't tell her 'papa'," he replied, his smile turning to a smirk.   
  
Nagi just sighed and got up to make more coffee.   
  
**********  
  
The next morning, Schuldich came into the living room to find Crawford typing away contentedly on a laptop.   
  
"I thought I said no laptops!" Schuldich startled the American with his sudden raise of voice.   
  
Nothing could have prepared Crawford for Schuldich whipping the laptop away and dropping it out the nearest window. He turned to find Crawford grinning like a Cheshire cat.   
  
"What's so funny?" the German asked, while checking his co-worker's mind.   
  
(That was your laptop.)  
  
Schuldich's eyes went wide and dropped to the street below. There they located a fashionably dressed woman, just walking past the hotel's entrance. Suddenly, she stopped and held out her arms, catching the laptop.   
  
In seconds, Schuldich was down twelve flights of stairs, out the lobby, and next to the woman.   
  
"Thank-you," he said as he took the laptop out of the stunned woman's arms.   
  
"B-but where! How!" exclaimed the shocked woman.   
  
"My dear, sometimes it's just best not to ask," Schuldich smiled as he gently shooed the woman on her way. Then he re-entered the hotel.   
  
**********  
  
"I still don't see why you got to bring your laptop," Crawford sulked down on the couch next to the red head.   
  
"I already told you. This is strictly for keeping in contact with Nagi and Farfarello."   
  
A few typed words and a couple of mouse clicks later, Nagi appeared on the screen, dressed in heavy winter clothes and beaming.   
  
"Hey, guys!" he cried, waving one hand frantically.   
  
"Hey, Nagi. How are things going?" Schuldich asked.   
  
"Great! You're at the dentist and Crawford's home with a migraine."   
  
"But I don't get migraines," Crawford protested.   
  
"You do now!" Nagi chirped.   
  
"Umm.....Nagi? Are you feeling all right?" Schuldich questioned.   
  
"It'salittlecoldinhereandIcan'tfindTot,butotherthanthat,everything'sfine!" Nagi blurted out.   
  
Just then, Farfarello came in with a coffee mug.   
  
"Here's your coffee, Nagi," he said, setting the mug down on the desk next to the telekinetic. This simple action cleared up all of Schuldich's questions.   
  
"Thank-you sooooooooo much!" Nagi cried as he took a long sip.   
  
"Farfarello, Aren't you cold?" Schuldich asked, eyeing Farfarello's regular attire.   
  
"Heh. Heh. Being cold hurts God," was the psycho's response.   
  
"Do you know where Tot is?" Crawford asked.   
  
The Irishman smirked, but didn't say anything.   
  
"Okay. We'll see you guys later," Schuldich said as he terminated the connection.   
  
**********  
  
(Hotel beds are so comfy,) Schuldich thought as he padded into the living room in pajamas and socks. He didn't know where his co-worker was at the moment, there were mixed signals. The lights in his room where off, but was that because he was still sleeping or because he had left his room? A quick survey of the vacant living room and kitchen led Schuldich to conclude that for once in his life, the American was sleeping in.   
  
The red head flopped down and stretched out on the couch. He reached for the remote and turned on the large t.v..   
  
(I'm tired of the news,) he thought as he began flipping stations. Soon he found a strange cartoon. Judging by the title and the characters, he figured it was American. He had no idea who the fat, bald guy, the little kid, or the woman with the tall blue hair was (or why they were all yellow), but their actions were entertaining. Schuldich set the remote down and tried to pick out some words he had learned from here or there. But there was one word he didn't understand. There were quite a few words he didn't understand that he had just shrugged off. But this word kept getting repeated. The fat, bald guy said it over and over, and it's odd sound intrigued him.   
  
"Crawford, What does 'd'oh' mean?" Schuldich asked when his co-worker finally emerged from his bedroom.   
  
"'D'oh'? What are you watching?" Crawford asked as he peered over the couch. Then he grabbed the remote and began surfing through the channels.   
  
"Hey! I was watching that!" Schuldich protested as the American sat down next to him.   
  
"No cartoons. We're watching the news," the American replied coolly. Schuldich lunged for the remote, but not before Crawford jumped off the couch and out of his reach.   
  
"Forget it, Schuldich. You know I'm clairvoyant," the American smirked.   
  
Schuldich returned his much more practiced smirk.   
  
(Crawford. Craaawford. Are you there?)  
  
"Schuldich, stop it."   
  
Schuldich's smirk got wider.   
  
(Am I distracting you? Aww. Let me apologize,) Schuldich's second lunge was successful.   
  
"You cheated!" Crawford accused.   
  
"You used your power, so I used mine," Schuldich justified the accusation as he dove behind the couch.   
  
"Schuldich! Give back the remote!"   
  
"Never!" A defiant fist popped up from behind the couch.   
  
"If you make me take it from you, I will take it from you," Crawford calmly threatened.   
  
"Bring it on," the couch challenged. Crawford dove behind the couch.   
  
**********  
  
"Nagi. Farfarello."   
  
"Yes, Mr. Takatori?" the bodyguards answered in unison.   
  
"Where are Schuldich and Crawford?"   
  
"Hit by a truck," Farfarello answered.   
  
"Stampede!" a very fidgety Nagi replied at the same time.   
  
"My, Schuldich and Crawford sure have been unfortunate this week," Mr. Takatori commented. "But that doesn't stop Crawford, does it? His paperwork keeps coming in. And it looks like he's brushed up on his Japanese, too. He's been addressing his work to Takatori san." The man's reflective gaze turned deadly. "All right. Where are they?"   
  
"We already told you. Crawford was hit by a truck and Schuldich was caught in a stampede," Nagi had no idea where and how a stampede would occur, much less one Schuldich would be caught in, but it was his last chance for a cover up.   
  
Takatori was unphased.   
  
"You tell me where they are right now, or you're taking Schreient on their next shopping spree."   
  
Within seconds, Nagi was at the computer, typing like he was possessed.   
  
When the connection went through, all three of them were surprised to see the up-tight Crawford and the demonic Schuldich wrestling for the remote like two teenage brothers.   
  
"Guys! Enough! We've been caught!" Nagi shouted at the screen as loud as he could, but the two men didn't even look up.   
  
Takatori cleared his throat, and the bodyguards stopped in their tracks.   
  
"I want you both on the next flight home. Now," he said quietly, and then switched off the transmission.   
  
**********  
  
"Welcome back."   
  
"Hey, Farfarello. Where'd Crawford go?"   
  
"He's being lectured by Takatori."   
  
"That will take a while. I guess it's the golf club for me."   
  
"Not this time. It's gone 'mysteriously missing'," the psycho made the hand gesture for quotations as he said the last two words.   
  
"Thanks. Where's Nagi?"   
  
"He's asleep. Now that he's off the coffee, he'll probably sleep for days."   
  
Schuldich smirked as he left Farfarello to go to his room. he dropped his bags on his bed and opened his closet.   
  
"Hmm! Mmmm!" A frantic Tot, tied up with tape over her mouth, was there to greet him.   
  
Slightly puzzled, Schuldich crouched and peeled the tape off until only the edge remained clinging to her cheek.   
  
"Farfarello put me here!" she wailed.   
  
"And I'll leave you here," he answered with a smirk.   
  
"Schul-hmmm!" she was cut off as Schuldich replaced the tape and shut the closet door. 


End file.
